Empowered Traditionalist

Some of you are thinking but what about getting a guy? Won’t good looks and a good figure serve me well in that pursuit?

I want to Let the guys answer. These are taken from the Modesty Survey where 1500+ guys answered girls questions about modesty and beauty.
The question is: Is Character, intelligence, and personality more important than physical beauty?
One 19, young man answers:
“Your heart is what matters, not your outward beauty. Don’t assume that you have to be a magazine cover girl to get married to a good guy, because first of all, those pictures are not real, and second, you really don’t want guys that only care about your outward beauty.”

Age 17-You can be the prettiest girl on earth, but if you don’t have a good character, and a nice personality it doesn’t mean anything.
Age 16 YES! I would rather have my future wife be as fat as the moon and have the best spirit and love for the Lord. Being good looking is just a bonus!
Age 15 I wish I could stress this enough, but I can’t.
Age 22“There is one that is more in love with you than any man can ever be. You are incredibly valuable to Him, and you never need question His commitment…He thinks you’re beautiful in the morning without your makeup, and He’ll think you’re just as beautiful when you’re 80. He is Christ. There is no need to attract a man to you- Christ will lead the right man to you. And when someone that loves you as much as Christ, arranges a marriage, you may rest assured it will be far better than anything you could have done. You are His-be content there.”
Age 21 I will completely look over a super model with no character for an average girl with amazing character.

Elizabeth Elliot interviewed a group of young college students for qualities they are looking for in basic everyday contact with females.
“. I look for women who are secure in the Lord. Content. Can handle adversity.”
“Quietly Courageous”
“Not trying to please everybody.” “Maternal. That’s important”
“Femininity”, “Affirmation”, “Encouragement”, “Tenderness”. “Sensitivity”. “Vulnerabiliy.”

Let us put all our energy into pursuing these qualities, in undivided devotion to God and turn all your attention to cultivating the beauty of 1 Peter 3.

1 Cor 7: 34 “an unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.”

And I must interject- I am not advocating we neglect our appearance. Pleasing God in our beauty pursuit does not mean we try to be ugly or appear unattractive. Proper care is important is very important- We are women and there is nothing wrong with enhancing our natural beauty.

But as John Piper explains in his book The Godward Life,
With God at the center like the sun satisfying a woman’s longing for beauty and greatness, truth and love all the planets of food and dress and exercise, cosmetics, posture and countenance will fall into their proper orbit.

Call to Action!
It’s less time at the malls, more time in ministry! Less mirrors and more meekness! If you are one of those girls who must have the $400 coach bag, reevaluate your spending in light of 1 Peter 3. Is this a God-honoring use of my money and resources?

Can I plead with you, listen to the wisdom of your parents, your father especially. When he makes a statement about your use of makeup or clothing…honor him! He knows what he is talking about, it is a protection for you. Whenever I want to wear something new, or perhaps less conservative than usual…my dad always asks- “WHY do you want to wear it?”

Be honest with your mom, I know it’s hard, it takes humility (but that’s where that “quietly courageous comes in) ask for help- she’s been through the struggles ahead of you. Moms please make it easy for your daughter…take time to go to coffee, and be that friend and counselor. If you don’t have godly parents go find a godly woman you respect.

Let’s cultivate a beauty that is of great worth in God’s sight.

Some Application questions for you ladies:

10 Questions: from a blog post by one of my favorite authors Carolyn Mahaney,
1. Do I take too much time daily to care for my personal appearance? Or is the amount I spend on this activity pleasing to God?
2. Do I spend too much money on clothes, hair and make-up or is the amount I spend God honoring?
3. Do I want to lose weight to feel better about myself or do I want to be self-disciplined for the glory of God?
4. Do I exercise to create or maintain a good figure or do I exercise to strengthen my body for God’s service?
5. Is there anyting about my appearance that I wish I could change? Or am I completely grateful to God for the way he has created me?
6. Am I jealous of others appearance, or am I truly glad when I observe other girls more physically attractive than myself? *gulp
7. Do I covet the clothes of others? Or do I genuinely rejoice when others are able to afford and purchase new clothing?
8. When I attend an activity or event, am I sizing up others appearance and comparing myself to that evaluation or am I asking God to show me who to love and how to do it?
9. Do I ever dress immodestly or with the intent of drawing attention to myself or do I dress in a manner that pleases God?

I have to admit that I have been guilty of all these more on many accounts. But selfishness leads to bondage! Self-love is idolatry. The prophet Isaiah (chaptor 44) calls it feeding on ashes. It is ashes! It leaves us dry, frustrated and disillusioned.

In My own life, i have battled with my “feminine curves”, “if only I could lose 5 lbs!” It’s a constant battle against my flesh as I struggle to keep my heart and mind anchored in the truth. But once I finally gain victory ( and I have do it repeatedly), it is sooo freeing.
There is something far better.

1 Cor 10:31 says “whether you eat or drink do all for the glory of God”

Our goal in eating or not eating should be for the glory of God, not to be thin, or feeling good about ourselves- both of those are cultural goals, not a biblical one.

So How? How can we put to death those desires that crave the attention of guys, seek the competitive edge with the girls, lust for popularity with both guys and girls–Evil desires that tempt us to create this tangled web of self-absorption.

Col 3:1-5 gives us the answer –note the natural progression.
The starting point, for any repentance, for putting to death those evil desires, is setting our hearts on things above.
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Chris is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above, no things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
–focus on the beauty of Christ.
When we look to Him, we put ourselves in proper perspective. As His love, and glory and holiness are magnified in our eyes we suddenly feel so ingsinificant, but we are also feel most at peace. I am most content and most satisfied when all of my selfish motivations are cast aside; and I stand in awe of this glorious King who crushed His Son, absolutely pulverized Him, because He loved me. Isaiah 53- He bore our sins. Girls Preach the gospel to yourself, proclaim it to your soul!!

Want to hear what the guys think?
- to be continued.

What is God’s perspective of beauty?

Proverbs 31: 32 answers this question for us: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.”
In the Hebrew, Charm means “bodily form”
Form and beauty are the two things that our culture esteems and pursues are they not? But God’s word exposes this pursuit as worthless.
Being preoccupied with our physical form and beauty is deceitful. In other words, we think we are getting something we’re not.

If you do a Biblical study of beauty- far more often the stories physical beauty are connected to lying, cheating, stealing, murder, adultery, and idol worship.

No where in the bible are women instructed to wish for, ask for or strive for physical beauty.

Instead, it warns us of the futility and deceitfulness of such a pursuit. It isn’t even a blessing for those who have it!

There is a beauty we are called to pursue. It is the highest goal we as women are to strive for.
We find it defined in

(First we see what true beauty isn’t )

1 Peter 3: 3- Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

See our culture defines beauty by what we look on the outside. God defines beauty by how we look on the inside. Our culture puts forth a standard of beauty that is unattainable by most, God puts forth a standard of beauty to which we can all attain, if we but surrender to His work of grace in our lives

When someone physically attractive walks by, we may notice, (guys in particular notice) but that’s the end of it. Her beauty makes a brief impression. But a woman who seeks to serve others, who is intent on pleasing the Lord, who cultivates this inner beauty makes a lasting impact on everyone she touches. When I see a young woman who is focused on serving and loving her siblings, trying to honor her parents, and serving the church- that is beautiful.
She leaves an indelible mark on the lives of others.

These two definitions can be summarized as:
A love of self vs. a love for God

Which beauty are we seeking to cultivate? Are we actively pursuing inner beauty or do we give more attention to our outward appearance?

The way we prepare our outward appearance reflects our hearts, our priorities. Are we reflecting a love for God and others or selfish motivation?

…to be continued

Why? Why are we obsessed with physical beauty?

The answer lies in the self-centered desires resident within the human heart

The message is: If you are beautiful you will be happy and successful, you will be popular among the women, and desirable to the men, You will know lasting intimacy and true love. You will be confident, secure, important and significant. These are all things our heart craves! We long for success, significance, approval…therefore women become obsessed with the attempt to be beautiful.

But it’s a lie. Physical beauty does not ensure happiness.

Princess Diana, was physically beautiful and the most photographed woman in the world. She was a celebrity of unprecedented magnitutde. Yet with the world at her feet, her fairy-tale marriage to Prince Charles ended in divorce, she admitted to frequent bouts of depression, loneliness, ongoing bulimia and several suicide attempts. She went through a number of psycho-therapists but to no avail. And then her life ended in her tragic death.

Even the recent chaotic spiral of superstar Brittney Spears is a witness to the emptiness in such a life.

Physical beauty does not deliver as advertised.
Nancy Leigh Demoss in Lies Women Believe, “the deception that physical beauty is to be esteemed above beauty of the heart…leaves both men and women feeling unattractive, ashamed, embarrassed and hopelessly flawed…the pursuit of physical beauty is invariably an unattainable, elusive goal…it’s always just out of reach.”
“If only…”

We need to remind ourselves -Don’t be squeezed into the mold of this culture “ Why do we have to remind ourselves? Because our tendency is to get sucked right back into this downward cycle.

What we believe determines how we live. We need our minds changed; then our lives, our dreams, our pursuits will follow. I constantly am on the alert, fighting to keep my heart from succumbing to the pressures of this culture. Like a true counterfeit expert, we have to examine the genuine bills so the counterfeits are all the more obvious.

Ask yourself: Has my heart been captivated by this world’s definition of beauty or does true beauty mean something more?

In order to answer this question we need to know

Is there another definition of beauty that we should be focused on?
…to be continued.

…continued from Part1
What ideal? What standard of beauty by which every woman is to compare herself?

1. Bodies that are perfect without defect. That pretty much eliminates all of us. If you have an unwanted scar or birth mark, if you have skin disease, acne on your face or spider veins on your legs, if your nose is too big, if you are too tall or too short- these are considered defects by our society.
2. To be beautiful you must be young
now most of us are still young…but may I remind you of something? We may be young, but our youthfulness is shortlived! In fact, have any of you been with your grandmother or great gramma recently? Stop and picture her in your mind. Guess what? Yea, someday you will resemble your gramma or great gramma. Now I know that may be difficult for some of you to fathom, but it’s true. It’s a flower that quickly fades-no exceptions
3. Having a perfect figure.You must be the pefect height, have a large bust, skinny waist, shapely legs, all packaged in a thin body. Again, the majority of us , don’t measure up.
Finally,
4. We must have that covergirl face. We must look like the faces on the magazine racks, or this seasons most glamorous model or movie star.

The fashion industry creates a definition of beautiful so narrow that in comparison the majority of women and girls feel ugly and unattractive.

What’s worse is the deception in this industry. Did you know that most of the models you see in the magazines don’t even look like their picture? More than 95% of photographs have been digitally altered.

Click: Here to see some eye-opening videos…

Another intriguing clip: Here

If we had this whole entourage- we wouldn’t look so bad ourselves!!

…to be continued…