Aug 07 2008
Fashion plate vs. Faithful Femininity
Over dinner my Dad and I were talking about young men, and possible “turn-offs” in a young woman (namely myself). Because I am so constantly immersed in the fashion biz and environment I tend to dress in a more avante-garde manner. My father admonished me-
“Dressed super stylishly, you can send the wrong message. You want a guy attracted to your heart, so you dress yourself with good works. I don’t want guys attracted to my daughter for her figure.” After pointing out several items that he thought were pushing the envelope, I left nursing my pride. Later, of course, I found myself humbly grateful for his protecting intervention and told him so.
It was time to re-evaluate my heart. Some questions I posted by my dressing mirror:
-Am I pushing the envelope?
-Is this fashion honoring to God or myself?
-Who am I dressing for? Whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave?
-Why am I wearing what I’m wearing?
You do not want the men around you to be turned off by your “worldy” appearance. If the first thing he notices is your incredibly stylish outfit, something is wrong. You are speaking louder with your wardrobe than your own mouth and actions.
1 Timothy 2: 9-10 (New Living Translation)
“[women] should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention themselves by the way the fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.”
Further thought:
Consider the word: demure…what mental pictures arise?
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I loved your post, and your Dad is right to care. How we dress often sends signals we don’t always think we are sending.
Very nice article! I often find myself caring more about my appearance than I should. It’s nice to know that I don’t struggle alone.
-Miss S.
Thanks girls!
I am seriously thinking about heading up a “modesty carnival”, with some type of free C-T.com giveaway.
Any ideas?
Excellent post, Christa! I really appreciated those questions…they really convicted me to look at my motivation for how I dress
I love the carnival idea!! I’ll have to think up some ideas for you
Wow, thanks so much for this! Its been a long road to modesty for me, and I find myself struggling with those same questions from time to time.
Demure… to me, it calls up images of a fresh faced, honest eyed, quiet spirited woman. I think that’s probably the hardest thing about Christianity and fashion… the world seeks to be as far away from demure as possible. The “fashion world” seems to be inherently sensual and seductive.
I’ve begun realizing lately that I almost have to redefine fashion for myself, and come up with my own “style”… and let go of that long held to and deep rooted desire to fit in. I still want to look nice, attractive, orderly … but I don’t care anymore if other people see me as “fashionable” in the Vogue sense of the word.
And may I say how encouraging it is to see a young lady listening to her father, and valuing his advice… even when it is, at first, painful.
Thanks Christa! This was awesome and you posed some great questions that I’ll be asking myself. I love the idea of posting them right next to your dressing mirror! I like to dress semi-stylish…but with my own style still there. I enjoy wearing jewelry and make-up and such…but you’re Dad is right. We need to re-check our motives for dressing the way we do…whichever way that is. Are our heart and motives pure in this area?
Blessings to you!
Shalom!
This is great! Thanks for posting. I L♥VE YOUR CLOTHES! You should start a magazine, like ELIZAmag.
good post. I am really good at making sure not too much is exposed, but I do still struggle with the balance between dressing nice/stylish and looking good enough to catch someone’s eye. It is so hard for me too because guys view things so differently than I do so something I think is totally fine could be the wrong outfit to wear.