Empowered Traditionalist

The giveaway contest has arrived! You could win $25 to Christa-Taylor.com along with your own copy of Lisa’s book For Young Women Only.
To enter the drawing, simply post a comment below, including the name of one other girl you told about the contest.

It should look something like:

“Add me to the drawing! And I told my friend Sarah Harris about the contest too!”

The contest will run until October 14th.

Any questions? Just put those in your post as well.

excited,
Christa Taylor

If we have over 50 contestants we can “up” the contest to $50 and add a second place prize for $25! Spread the news!

Thank you Lisa for your time and insights, it is pleasure to host this interview here at ET. Girls, this is just the tip of the iceberg, Lisa has a plethora of helpful tips in the book. Get your own copy today, or be our contest winner!

Christa: Tell us a little about yourself, and why you co-authored For Young Women Only
Lisa: I am a mother, screenwriter, author and journalist living in Atlanta, GA. I co-authored FYWO to help teen girls understand some things I wish I had known as a teen - like how guys are wired inside. Once we understand their God-given wiring, we can make smarter choices about how we will speak, dress, and act around the males we care about.

Christa: Why do the guys around me need respect?
Lisa: Guys say they’d actually give up the feeling of love if they could know they had respect. Respect from the girls they care about makes them feel trusted, competent, like they measure up!

Christa: What are some practical ways I can show that respect?
Lisa: Guys say that teasing is especially tough (unless it’s really light-hearted, goofy and fun) - especially in front of their guy friends. Girls know lots of ways to show love, but often we show disrespect at the same time, which makes the guys feel no love, either.

Christa: I understand that inner beauty is more important, but I find myself leaning towards the opposite extreme and ending up looking frumpy – How important are my looks and appearance?
Lisa: It’s important to know that guys are visual, which means they can’t not notice a girl who’s wearing clothing that accentuates a good figure. He will store these “photos” of great bodies in a mental photo album, which can be called up at will or just pop into his thoughts without warning. And the scary thing is that he will be strongly tempted to picture that girl unclothed. Guys told us that if a girl will wear clothing that is trendy but not too revealing of private parts and not too skin-tight, the guy will be able to look at her and think, “Wow, what a beautiful girl!” instead of, “Whoah, I want to take her home to my bed right now!”

Christa: If there was one thing that young women should be pursuing in these years, what would it be?
Lisa: A personal relationship with God. Many girls don’t realize that there is one who, unlike guys on earth, is a prince of heaven who will never let them down. He’s invisible but real, waiting to see who will take His outstretched hand. When a girl has a strong relationship with the Lord, everything else will fall into place

Application Questions:
Are you prone to teasing your brothers or the young men in your circle?
What are some practical ways you can encourage and demonstrate respect to the men around you?

…continued from part 2

5. Excess Accessories
The Confusion of Profusion is too many scarves, belts, and other oddities. By “too many” I mean relics from the past, that are no longer in current use. If an accessory hasn’t been worn for a year, if it’s shabby, if the color is faded or doesn’t go with anything you have, if you simply cant stand to wear it…ditch it.

6. Shop in a shopping mood
Oh ladies, the worst mistake you can make is to go shopping when you don’t feel like it. The most important part of shopping is your frame of mind. If you go into the dressing room feeling like a mistreated heroine from a soap opera, I can guarantee nothing will look good on you. And if you’re depressed because you gained a few pounds, don’t buy something too small to grow into. Hard, but true. Lose the few pounds first then go shopping.
Finally, dress to go shopping. How can possibly see what a dress will do for you if your hair is under a hankerchief, your face devoid of make-up, and your good bra at home in the drawer? The “Well…of course, I’ll be wearing different shoes, and my hair swept up into a French twist…and…” and you wonder why so many clothes are such a big disappointment when they are actually worn.

7. Dress for everything.
Dress actively for whatever you are doing. Don’t wear an ageing cocktail dress for the office, or a “beat-up” cashmere for housework. They will be uncomfortable as well as unattractive. If it’s raining, wear raingear, and snag a perky umbrella at a garage sale. Why look like a drowned scarecrow when you can be a touch of sunshine?

It may take a little while for you as a complete, unique individual to emerge, but it’s all up to you and fascinating business of Wife-Dressing.

1.    Compress your Wardrobe.
Be relentless. If it’s out of style-makes you itch or squirm with discomfort, turns your skin sallow- can it!
Fashion is for today. Don’t look back. Sentiment may cast a rosy  glow on some special piece or other, but in reality, it’s just taking up space.

With the dross and fool’s gold cleared away, the real nuggets shine. An uncluttered wardrobe gives you a working knowledge of what you have and full control over selections. I regularly (every month) clean out my closet and invariably give-away an item or two. It’s better to have fewer clothes, all wearable and each accessorized in your mind than the confusion of having three times the selection.

2.    Weeding is a money saver.
Collect your disgards, if you don’t have a favorite friend or sister, do one of two things. Sell them to a second hand shop or have them evaluated and donate them to a charity. The amount can then be deducted from you income tax return.

3.    Old shoes must go.
Nothing spoils an outfit more than time-worn shoes and shoes which are obviously out of style. Since shoes are made in such an enormous range of color, fabric, and type, don’t buy them to last forever. Even designer shoes lose their luster quickly or are passé the next season. The one exception would be sneakers or tennis shoes, which take of lot of punishment.

4.    The Jewel box
The best jewel box is one that is sparsely filled. Not being able to tell the forest for the trees is the chief woe of the overstuffed box. Simplicity, class. One or two fresh things is enough.

part 3 coming soon…

Announcement:

In just 7 days we will be hosting the much anticipated C-T giveaway and interview with Lisa Rice!

Also, upcoming is a guest post from author Natalie Nyquist pertaining to “What to do when the guy I like, doesn’t like me?”

These next 3 posts are for the wives amongst us, and those future wives in the making

Wife dressing is many things:
An art.
A science.
A labor of love.
A means of self-expression.
And, above all, a contributing factor to a happy marriage.

Wife dressing begins with the traditional rings for your third finger, left hand. But the wedding ring is only the beginning. When your husband’s eyes light up as he comes in at night, you’re in sad shape if it’s only because he smells dinner cooking.

Most men claim to be indifferent to fashion, if not down-right afraid. They can contemplate outer space without blinking an eye, sacrifice their very lives in defense of our country, or even explore the dark cellar where you’ve heard noises—yet the mention of a shopping trip turns them pale and trembling.

Why? I don’t know.
But one thing is clear, however many times he may mumble inarticulately when you ask his advice he will respond to every facet of wife-dressing whether you’re being the hostess, the maid-of-all-work, or the devastating creature curled up on the sofa with a Midnight Snack for Two.

So how can you serve your husband through your dress?

You will need:
1. A frank understanding of yourself
2. A healthy attitude toward your new responsibilities
3. A willingness to learn and
4. A buoyant elation about being alive.

All this can be boiled down to one word: Discipline.
Discipline makes you the woman you are. You are you. Not the model in that photo, or the girl beside you in the elevator, or even the gal sitting at the next lunch table. Discipline is the secret to good grooming, no matter your budget. Discipline prevents you from being deluded about the squishing into the wrong size, or buying something just because it’s on sale. Discipline makes you a stickler for details which left unchecked could lead to a catastrophe.

Part 2 coming soon.
Sources: Wife Dressing, Anne Fogarty

I first met Taylor Moore in the pages of Wendy Shalit’s book: Girls Gone Mild. Since then, I have had the pleasure of talking with this inspiring young woman and she has agreed to conduct an interview for us here.

Christa: Taylor, thank you so much for joining us, tell us a little about who you are, and what you do
Taylor: To begin with, my name is Taylor Moore and I am a nineteen year old award-winning motivational speaker. I’ve been speaking since I was nine years old, and during that time my main platforms consisted of  speaking about excellence and non-violence. As I grew older, different issues started emerge….hormones. I realized that many of my peers were acting on these urges, as opposed to redirecting that energy to something positive and useful. After connecting with an abstinence organization called Project Reality, my message of purity grew immensely. My message of abstinence is different than any other speaker these teens have heard, because in addition to me being a virgin and practicing abstinence until marriage, I’m their age. So for them to see someone their age making positive and healthy decisions, and looking good living such a lifestyle, says a lot about why so many have made a 180 degree turn from a promiscuous life to practicing abstinence.

Christa: So what are some of the tangible benefits for living a life of purity?
Taylor: Some of the main benefits of women AND men maintaining their purity, is for one-a stress free life! Premarital sex can bring about unnecessary drama, so by practicing abstinence that is quickly eliminated. Also, one doesn’t have to worry about STDs or an untimely pregnancy. Last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, practicing abstinence gives one a sense of focus. When people (teens especially) are involved in premarital relationships, focus can be taken off their life’s purpose and potentially distract them from recognizing their purpose all together. I’ve had some people ask me, “Why don’t you talk about not using alcohol and drugs the way you talk about not having purity?” The answer is simple. If you can say NO on this issue, saying no to alcohol and drugs will be a piece of cake. Many times premarital sex is the gateway to those other things, so by tackling it, you’re also tackling alcohol and drugs. Once a person has made the conscious decision to practice abstinence, they either recognize the purpose for their life, or would like to know it and don’t want to get sidetracked.

Christa: How can we bring about change in this area?
Taylor: In order for us to affect change in our culture in the abstinence area, is that we need to STOP being gullible to the idea that sex sells. Of course that’s what’s going to sell when that’s the only thing on the market. So if more people come together and create positive things that could be distributed to actively encourage and motivate others, the media will see that it’s time for a change and they can’t make us watch or buy just anything. We’re demonstrating that we have options and something positive (healthy) is our FIRST PICK !

Christa: Do you experience a lot of pressure to compromise your standards either from society or from your peers?
Taylor: I’m a teenager. I have had all type of guys try to talk me about being in a relationship, wanting to break my seal of purity, and I’m like, “did you not just hear my message!” Nonetheless, people have tried to tempt me even though I have made public what I’m about and what I stand for. When you stand up for something, that’s when the battle really begins, because people want to see if you really are who you say you are. In other words, to those reading this, be prepared to be tempted and attacked, but stand firm and strong as I have. And if you ever feel like you’re along in the purity movement better known as the abstinence movement, know that I’m right their with you fighting the same battle….AND WE WILL WIN!!!!!

Taylor Moore is strong Christian, a gifted singer and drummer (as a student at Kenwood Academy in Chicago she was a Ravinia Jazz Scholar and a member of the All-City High School Orchestra) and a cable television host and producer. She has campaigned nationwide for abstinence education, as well as literacy and anti-violence programs. You can find a live video of her speaking for the Chicago Tribune HERE

Oh, I should not have eaten that lemon bar last night…and now I feel like a bucket of lard. Christa what is your problem?! Blast this Italian metabolism! I mean, look at me, I have bulges and bumps exactly where there should be toned smooth muscle–and my thighs!…I feel like an elephant. Maybe I’ll wear something loose and grey today to match…or maybe I’ll just go back to bed…”

How many of you can identify with my “Feeling Fat mentality” ? Few, if any of us, can boast of a perfect body without scar, bulge, or wrinkle. So what to do when barraged with guilt and feelings of worthlessness?

Well, let me tell ya, the answer isn’t to throw yourself into a “I need to love myself” routine. The problem is we do love ourselves–immensely. Our malady is not low “self-esteem” nor is it how we view ourselves; rather, it is our low view of God. A distorted or damaged view of God will distort the way we see everything, including our bodies. If our god is worthless, we will see ourselves as worthless. If we have have believed lies about God, we will also believe lies about ourselves.

- I’m not worth anything

If our hearts are not first satisfied in God we will be desperately looking for affirmation elsewhere–whether in our physical beauty, talents, success or even our families. But in most cases, we could receive a hundred compliments about how we look or what we’ve done, but we hear one criticism or look in the mirror and we are devastated once again. Why? Because we are letting others determine our worth.

The truth is, when Jesus, God’s only Son came to earth and died in our place, He put a pricetag on us–declaring our souls to be of greater worth than the whole world. Believing the lie that your appearance determines your worth will put you in bondage to your flesh, believing the truth will set you free.

How do we free ourselves from these lies and sinful cravings?

Paul gives us the truth in Colossians 3:

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. So put to death the sinful earthly things lurking within you…”

Did you notice how many “I”s were in my thinking above? The answer to these depressing thoughts is to get the attention off of yourself by “Setting your mind on things above”. Glory in the truth of God’s steadfast love and His commands to love others. Remind yourself: Jesus was beaten, cut down, absolutely crushed for me. It was as if the Lord was saying: “What else can I do to prove my love for you?”

Only when we get our eyes off ourselves and onto Christ can we have a correct view of ourselves and our worth. We are then freed to focus on others, becoming a mirror bouncing God’s “light” to those surrounding us.

“With God at the center—like the ‘sun’, satisfying a woman’s longing for beauty and greatness and truth and love—all the ‘planets’ of food and dress and exercise and cosmetics and posture and countenance will stay in their proper orbit.” –John Piper The Godward Life

What are some quotes or scripture that has helped you focus on the Lord vs. your body or image?

I am excited to announce an upcoming interview with Lisa Rice co-author of For Young Women Only in tandem with a delicious fall giveaway…
The winner of the drawing will receive their own copy of For Young Women Only: as well as a $25 gift certificate to Christa-Taylor!

Spread the news, this is something you and your friends won’t want to miss!

So many girls today are confused about their god-given role in the home. You’re now out of high-school and what are you supposed to do? ? Are we expected to simply sit and wait for Mr. Right to come knocking at our door? Surely there must be something more. Yes. There is.
Something so much more.
In fact, there is so much, it simply cannot be squished into merely one blog post.

Why we were created
When God made Adam out of dust and left him to name the animals I’m sure Adam had to realize something- the animals all came in pairs…a male baboon a female baboon…a male lion a female…a male platypus a female… “Where’s my other half?!” So God took one of Adam’s ribs and created a “helper suitable to him”. Right from the beginning our purpose is crystal clear. We are created to be a helper. Adam did not make that call, God did.
I love reading this creation account, it’s as if we were created in the after-glow…the finishing touch, the last created being. I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel rather privileged to be a woman.

So what do we do with this helper calling? How and who do we help when we’re unmarried and living at home or elsewhere?

What does a helper do?

Let’s look at our inception: What does a rib do? A rib Supports the body and protects the heart.
According to Rev. William Einwechter,

“The Hebrew word ‘help’ [used in the word helpmeet] comes from two roots: the first meaning to rescue or save, and the second meaning to be strong. It indicates one who is able (has what it takes) to come to the aid of someone who is in need.”

This is the first step in fulfilling our god-given role. Whether single, married, at home, in a dorm room, apartment or with another family this is where the answers at: You are to support the headship of a male leader and you are to serve your future husband by protecting his heart.
Focusing on daughters in particular, Elizabeth and Sofia Botkin write,

“A godly young woman will seek to discover her father’s vision and goal and life-work and will embrace it as her own. She will devote herself to his ministry, to make it as fruitful as possible. A father is most fruitful when he has the help of his children,… and a daughter is most fruitful when she is making her father successful in this way.”

Does this seem far fetched and outmoded? Let’s be honest, for some of you, this could be a terrific challenge. “You expect me to drop everything and become a subservient lap dog to my Dad’s every whim? Dream on!”
No, absolutely not. What I am saying is- there is a terrific power in the father/daughter relationship that has yet to be tapped. Our cultures feministic thinking is so engrained within us that, like a fish swimming in water- we don’t even know we’re wet. Start by evaluating your thinking: where have I bought into my cultures values?

As the Botkin sisters conclude so dynamically:

“Why is being a good helpmeet so important? Because man, for all his abilities to lead and conquer cultures, cannot do this without woman’s help. In order for a man to lead, he needs a helper. Whether a man leads badly or well can depend upon his helper. Women can have a huge amount of influence over men. If we are good helpers, we can actually further the vision of our men and encourage them to great heights of biblical manhood. When we build them up, we can be their greatest assets in becoming masculine warriors for Christ. They need us as much as we need them.”

Recommended resources:
Return of the daughters
So Much More,

What are some tangible ways you have helped your father recently?
Have you asked your Father what his vision or dreams are?