Jan 24 2009
Brothers to the Rescue
“I didn’t need the lid…” Brandon (10) giggled as we sat reclaimed our seats at the cafe table.
“What?” I questioned. We were sitting in our favorite coffee shop, just Brandon and I, sipping tea and steamed milk.
“I didn’t need the lid…” he grinned, flipping the lid onto the table. Just moments before, I had been accosted by a burly stranger while stirring my tea at the beverage bar. Brandon, upon seeing a strange man approach me, sidled up beside me, grabbed a coffee lid, and directed me back to my seat.
“When I saw that guy talking to you, I was afraid he was going to ask you on a date…
so I was going to come up and pretend like you were married or something.” he confessed sheepishly.
(Girls, I had just completed a 6 mile jog and wasn’t wearing a lick of makeup- this guy clearly didn’t have any intentions) We laughed, and I thanked him for his gentlemanly behavior. I was “so thankful to have such a man along, looking out for me”. His chest couldn’t have gotten bigger.
Later, upon reflecting on this brief moment, I was reminded of how important we can be to the men in our lives. I believe Edna Gertsner said it perfectly when describing Sarah Edwards:
“[Sarah Edwards] unconsciously exerted her charm on all she met. She always stirred in the opposite sex admiration and an awareness of her femininity. She had that quality of making a man awake to the fact that she was different, a creature of gossamer substance against which his own masculinity became more apparent, and which caused him to lift his shoulders and even to strut a little…Even her own son was not immune to this femininity of his mother. He never forgot when he rode with her that she was a woman and that he was her protector. He became a little man. She brought out every quality of manhood in him. And even while her eyes were alert to the dangers of the forest she indulged and encouraged this strength in him and let him feel it was he upon whom their safety rested. It was good, she felt, for Jonathon to strut a little.”
And Dawn Eden in her book concurs:
“A good man does admire self-sufficiency in a woman. But he admires it even more when that self-sufficient woman has the modesty to admit she needs advice, a shoulder to lean on, or just someone to carry her loaded-down backpack.”
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– Edna Gerstner, Jonathon and Sarah, an Uncommon Union
–Dawn Eden, The Thrill of the Chaste
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Aww! that is so awesome! thanks for sharing that story and those excerpts!
Amanda
That story is too sweet!
That is cute! I only have one brother who is younger than I and has just turned 14. I realize what a crucial time this is in his growing up to develop godly characteristics, but it can be so hard to know how to encourage it. It’s so easy for me to tell him what to do and I have been doing it for so long that I’m afraid he usually waits for me to take the initiative. How on earth does one undo that? I wish all brothers were older than their sisters then we wouldn’t have such problems!
Dear Alison,
we had a ongoing competition with prizes/rankings/scorepads called “The Gentleman Contest”. Essentially, once a week I gathered them together for a brief training on how to be a gentleman, read stories of past heroes (See: “Women and Children First” ) and generally fostered that attitude. They did need some training, but soon- with a little patience and encouragement- they took off and handled everything themselves. Now, they race to see who can get our doors first.
I too have a brother that is 14, and initially it was a challenge to break the habits I had formed. But even your desire to encourage his leadership shows you are headed in the right direction. When my brothers were younger (Sam was then 14, Dan 12 and Brandon
Because Chivalry is all-but-dead in our society, you do have to gently train and steer them in the right direction.
Thankfully, my dad and church are supportive of chivalry and my brother has been trained to the basics such as door opening. People laugh at us sometimes when my sisters and I will wait at the door until he comes up, or point it out when a lady needs help carrying something, but I know that he actually likes it. So, he isn’t completely unchivalrous; the issue is really more in the direction of leadership.
I feel like I need to tell him to do certain things or they won’t get done, but on the other hand, I wish he would take the lead and do what he needs to do. That might not really make sense…. Anyways, we are working on it.
::chuckle:: I wait by the door too- even If I have to wait 30 seconds, it’s worth it! It’s always a work in progress- they definitely need lots of encouragement, and affirmation. Keep up the good work Alison!
That is so sweet!
I loved the excerpts…
Cute story!
The excerpt about Sarah Edwards makes me want to be like her
I wish I had access to the books you reference, Christa. I think it would be great to be able to read them in full since you give us a little nugget to taste.
Anna, there is famous phrase Ronald Reagan used to quote- “He who reads, leads”.
Reading is indeed a very powerful tool. I am constantly immersing myself in good books- simply because we are bombarded by the deceptive lies of our society all the time- and I’m a sucker- I fall for them. Hence, why I continually have to renew my thinking with good, truthful reading.
If you need any book recommendations, let me know. There are some gems out there!
Aww
What a great brother!
Hello,
I recently added you on facebook, and I love reading both your blogs!
That is such a sweet story. My little brother is 10 too, and he (mostly) opens the doors for us. my mother and I are always teaching him to be a little gentleman.
Luv,
Gabby
Oh my, that is so precious! What a little gentleman he is =)
I just thought I’d let you know that I put a link to this post on my ‘Blogoversary Afterparty!’ post on Living Water!