Sep 11 2009
What Our Grandmothers Knew
From Betty Beguiles, friend and fellow Blogger.
Based on what I’ve seen of her old photographs, my maternal grandmother’s friends were exceptionally blessed in the looks department. Come to think of it, my paternal grandmother’s friends were, as well.
This is always my first impression when I peruse their old photo albums anyway. In reality, though, none of the women memorialized between the pages of these books had Marilyn Monroe’s figure or Audrey Hepburn’s profile. In fact, some of them were homely, some of them were plump, and none of them were flawless.
So why am I repeatedly struck by the beauty of these ordinary women? Were they somehow more attractive than today’s ordinary woman?
Of course not. Every woman is unique and possesses her own set of physical attributes that set her apart and make her shine. This is just as true today as it was then. The difference, I believe, is that the women of my grandmother’s generation knew how to play to their strengths and do so without sacrificing their self-respect.
It’s easy to recognize that you’re well-endowed and then degrade yourself by wearing low-cut blouses to attract attention. It doesn’t take a lot of wisdom to appreciate that you’ve been blessed with superior gams and then choose to wear hot pants to draw the eye of the unscrupulous.
But it takes a special kind of insight, intuition, and knowledge to know how to play up your individual physical gifts with subtlety, dignity and a touch of mystery.
My grandmother and her friends seem to have mastered that art form and I fear that with each passing generation some of their secrets are being lost. While I imagine it might take a lifetime to learn all the tricks they had up their sleeves, there are three simple skills—Selection, Quality and Care— that are easy to learn and will take us far in our pursuit of dignified dressing.
Selection:
According to my grandmother, women were coached from a young age by their mothers on how to dress. They were taught to recognize what lines and fabrics would best flatter their unique figure. Did they have a boyish figure that would best be played up by wearing straight lines or did they have an hourglass figure that could best be served by wearing cinched waists and full skirts? Did they have a voluptuous figure that required slightly heavier fabrics to ensure modesty or could they get away with slightly lighter fabrics without sacrificing their dignity?
One thing was certain, they understood that exposing lots of skin was not a prerequisite to attractiveness. They understood what many women today do not: Suggestion is a very powerful tool, indeed. With nary a neckline too low or a hem too high, women of the past were utterly feminine and alluring.
Quality:
The average woman from the 1940‘s and 1950‘s, and before, generally owned only a handful of outfits. She might have patiently saved up her money to buy one high-quality, beautiful dress or pantsuit rather than using that money for two, three or four mediocre pieces that didn‘t do her justice. Once she had found the outfit of her dreams she wasted no time in high-tailing it to the tailor’s shop to assure proper fit and maximize appeal.
Care:
Women of previous generations also knew how to care for their clothes. Their garments were never thrown into a hamper to be crumpled and left to sit for days. Instead they would hang up their dresses immediately upon disrobing to air them out, often wearing them more than once. When their outfits were in need of a good wash they would most often hand wash or dry clean them. On rare occasions they might wash their most sturdy pieces in the washing machine on the gentle cycle.
As a regular victim of “The Impulse Buy” I can only imagine how satisfying it would be to have an open, airy closet stocked with just a handful of outfits that I truly adore, that fit well and have been properly cared for. Getting dressed in the morning would be so perfectly simple with such a closet.
In fact, I bet it would have a positive effect on my entire day. After all, what girl doesn’t get a little bounce in her step from slipping into an outfit that makes her feel pretty? Perhaps it would even help me start those painfully early mornings that we all know so well with a smile on my face and a silly girlish song in my heart.
Come to think of it, that’s just how I remember the grandmother of my youth. It wonder if it had anything to do with that Christian Dior dress she was always wearing?
—Hallie Lord, a wife and mother of four, converted to the Catholic faith in 2001. She blogs at BettyBeguiles.com.
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Photo: Richard Avedon
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So true! People used to care about how they presented themselves and looking clean and neat. I think that sense of self-respect is lost now to most women and men. People are continualy getting sloppier and more cavalier in their appearance from hair to makeup to clothes and excessories. Even church goers and red carpet attendees are becoming increasingly slovenly in the name of “casual”. I think being overdressed is a compliment these days.
Thank you Hallie for a wonderful post! I too have had the same feeling when looking through old pictures, and I love your thoughts on it!
Very true, that is one of the reasons I love watching old shows I love looking at pictures of my Grandmothers when they were young they look so pretty!
I agree, I make a point to be what some people might consider overdressed.I dislike dressing casually.
and the makeup thing hit me to, so many people just don’t care anymore and its to bad, especially with so many great products around these days.
I’m with you Beatrice,
What was one of your favorite old TV shows?
I know “I Love Lucy” is silly, but have you ever noticed her apparel? Wowza! She looked fantastic!
she was. Lucille Ball was the total pacakge, hot, stylish and funny!lol.
lol. this cracked me up.
One thing I would change—> Her HAIR!
Thank you so much for writing this article. =) It’s beautiful and inspiring. I work at a Residential Facility for seniors, and often I will glance at the black and white photographs posted in the womens’ rooms. I always like to imagine how the seniors used to look, and the photos are lovely. We could learn a lot from them.
Yes she did I love her clothes! and her hats, that’s another thing women don’t wear as much as they used to, really pretty hats, last winter I had my eyes on a beautiful hat, I always went in that store when I went shopping and my Mother must have been so sick of hearing how much I loved it, so I didn’t get it and it had been several months, my birthday was last month, I had seen other hats that I wanted and thought that just maybe I’d get one, I was so happy to unwrap that hat! my Mother must have had a hard time keeping from laughing when I said how I wished I had it.
anyway its hard to say what my favorite one is, I always liked Leave it to Beaver, its so innocent (which is a welcome change from all that’s on now) and June Cleaver always look’s wonderful.there is another one I really like but it’s slipped my memory (I’ve had terrible brain fog for the past week due to hardly any sleep and a cold).
oh wow! this is longer than I intended.
I think I’m going to find a season of “Leave it to Beaver” somewhere.
I’ve never seen an episode.
its cute the first season but the plot gets old and his stupidity is just too dense after the second season. But the hats with blusher veils are to die for!!!
Very true. I really appreciate this article. I’ve always thought women from that era were more solid – more dignified and classy. It’s probably why I chose older names for my girls, Maggie and Lilly. (Charlotte and Lucy are in the running for #3 if it’s another girl.)
But my question is why? What happened that caused mothers and grandmothers to no longer coach a young woman how to dress? What happened that has caused us to fall so far from that standard? It’s definitely something to ponder, especially if you have daughters.
I think Feminism is what happened. At least, to a large extent. Women let go of a lot of things including their habits of feminine dress when the 2nd and 3rd waves hit.
I loved that because women back in the “old days” had just a few tailored, attractive outfits in their wardrobe they took better care of them (hanging them up to vent after wearing, and washing them by hand.)
Today it feels like its just easy come, easy go with clothes. You buy a cheap shirt just because its cheap, even though it doesn’t fit well and won’t hold its shape after two washes! That “quantity over quality” attitude just doesn’t make as much sense to me as planned, “responsible” purchasing and caring for our clothing.
I’ve thought about this article so many times since I read it a couple of weeks ago! I’ve stopped being a t-shirt and jeans addict, started putting more time into dressing well, and have decided to start hand washing my favorite pieces so they last longer. Thanks for the inspiration!
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