How to Be Feminine: 10 Secrets

Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, elocution was part of every young woman’s education. Thinking elocution to be some kind of chemical science I looked it up in the dictionary; it’s just a fancy word meaning feminine deportment.

While I’m glad we no longer walk around with books on our heads I don’t want to end up a female version of Huckleberry Finn either. Let’s face it, not all of us come from a “Little Women” background, femininity ingrained in every bone.

How do we enhance our Femininity?

1. Dress Feminine.

  • Heels
  • Skirts
  • Dresses
  • Jewelry
  • Belted waists
  • Cute sunglasses
  • Feminine hats
  • Flowy fabrics (silk blouses)
  • Florals (in moderation)
  • Colorful shoes & handbags
  • Pretty underwear
  • No pajamas in public- such an internal let-down. Woman are so beautiful, why shabby it up? Women have inherent value, confidence should come from that.

2. Embody Class

  • Walk with class- even in jeans, walk with your head high
  • Pivot when you turn vs. clumping. Practice this.
  • When seated, keep your knees/ankles together
  • Avoiding rough behavior, macho attitudes or intense confrontational attitudes.
  • Soft touch, soft speech, soft gestures or movements. Gentle. Tender. The feeling of treading lightly. We are instinctually Lighter.
  • SMILE – oh the power of a smile. Huge non-verbal communication.

3. Wear Perfume or Essential Oils

  • Find a scent that you can enjoy – are you sultry? spicy? light? floral?

4. Do Your Hair and Makeup

  • Never tried? Start with the basics. But Start!
  • Do your nails, at home or monthly mani/pedi

5. Surround Yourself with Beauty

  • We respond to beauty, so enjoy or develop your favorites.
  • Listen to Beautiful Music (bring on the Chopin)  sing or play along
  • Sculpture
  • Art/Paintings
  • Poetry, Prose, Literature
  • Arts, Creative Outlets
  • Interior Design/decorating
  • Flowers
  • Things that Inspire You.

6. Learn to Cook

  • Culinary creativity is really cool.
  • Develop beautiful food presentation (subscribe to Bon’a Petite mag etc.)
  • A feminine woman exhibits care, effortlessly aware of the needs around you.

7. Learn to Listen

  • Draw people out
  • Have conversation questions at the ready.
  • Develop Non-verbal empathy and compassion. Feminine Presence.

8. Man Men Up

  • Look for ways to communicate respect and affirmation towards the men around you.
  • Encourage and complement Manhood/chivalry

9. Let Them Drive

  • This is a funny one. But I think there is something genuinely helpful in letting guys drive (pretty much all the time) From steering to choosing a parking spot- let them drive.
  • Accept help. Tough girls need to go on vacation.

10. Nurture Your Maternal Nature

  • Hate kids? So did my mom. She started working at a day care and prayed for lots of grace. It must have worked, me and 7 seven siblings are happy as clams. ;)
  • Start by serving a family with little ones
  • Spend intentional time with nieces/nephews or little people in your circle
  • Read up on Baby Development in the womb.
  • Hold babies.
  • Serve in your church nursery (if applicable)
  • If you’re really unsure- start with a pet.


How to be Feminine, Enhance Your Femininity, “How to be Feminine”

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19 Responses to How to Be Feminine: 10 Secrets

  1. Katrina says:

    I’m not sure how I feel about this post…I agree that we women have a unique role to play, and that our softness is something to be encouraged, not squelched, but at the same time, we are more than just that. Our femininity is deeper than what we wear and how we walk, and whether or not we’re wearing making and jewelry.

    We’re created with a softness, gentleness, and beauty that men don’t have, but we also have incredible strength, and I don’t think we should try to deny that in the name of being feminine.

  2. I’m not sure I can articulate precisely why, but this post makes me very, very happy. Women of the world, read and APPLY!

  3. Kate says:

    These tips are fantastic! I especially like number 5… soft, beautiful surroundings have such a positive effect on one’s attitude and outlook. :) Please keep more inspiring posts about being a feminine woman coming! Your posts are such an encouragement!

    P.S. Have you ever checked out It’s given me a lot of inspiration and I thought you might enjoy some of the posts there. :)

    Have a lovely day!


  4. SarahJayne says:

    Love this list, Christa – just read it to my sisters. Thank you! :)

  5. Elizabeth says:

    Great post! Advice for how to deal with those mean, confrontational women in the workplace without becoming like them?

    • Jamie says:

      Great question! !!!!

    • Sarah Holman says:

      As a girl who worked with some women who thought I was the oddest person they had ever met, the answer is one you probably don’t want to hear.

      For the most part, ignore there mean complements. If you must respond, something non-verbal is best. If you must give a verbal response, let it be something that does not lend itself to arguments. Example: when they say “You know that only grandma’s dress like that?” You say, with a smile. “Obviously not since I am wearing clothes like this.”

      If they are being especially mean, as hard as it is, let them rant and then, when they pause to take a breath, say something like this is the calmest tone you can muster; “If you are finished, I need to get back to work.”

      If they learn they are not going to get an angry response out of you, they most likely will move on

      • Misty says:

        My response to anyone who decides to make rude or snide comments about my propriety (whether in dress or in my lifestyle), is to graciously say, “Thank you!” It completely throws them off guard and then they don’t know what to say next. As long as someone finds that they can’t “ruffle your feathers” they usually will quit trying.

  6. Shiloh says:

    Some great ideas, Christa!

  7. Sveta D. says:

    Very nice post! Keep it up, and thank you for standing out in a feminist culture, for true feminism. :)

  8. Jenny says:

    I think the best way to get men to “man up” is to quit babying and doing things for them. Force them to take charge of situations and be interdependent.

  9. TamiG says:

    I think this post is absolutely fabulous and what we need in this day and age. Thank you for your inspiration and insight. To femininity and beyond!

  10. Tamara says:

    How do you drive without steering?

  11. abraxxious says:

    I was lucky enough to be brought up in a very old fashioned traditional environment where men were men and women were women…. unfortunately, it seems that the line dividing men and women these days has become somewhat blurred.

    We now have poofy wimpy little boys instead of men, and butch, rough ill mannered women instead of ladies.

    This, of course, is a gross generalisation and does not hold true for ALL young men and women in the 21st century, however it is a worrying trend.

    Men – you are SUPPOSED to be strong, muscular, lean, fit, tough, intelligent, resourceful, strong willed and respectful/protective of the weaker sex.

    Women – you are SUPPOSED to be gentle, graceful, sexy, confident yet vulnerable and soft spoken.

    Both sexes should celebrate their strengths/characteristics and the strengths/characteristics of the other sex.

    Thus endith the lesson…. :)

  12. Carine says:

    I don’t think being feminine is only about dressing cute and acting soft. A woman must be able to defend herself and stand up for herself. Being soft and nice and classy is great, but when you have to undermine your strength just to maintain a feminine appearance you become vulnerable. I think self respect comes first. If you respect yourself, you will be classy and very respectful toward others but the whole feminine thing is just appearance. I disagree with this post, it sets feminism back.
    I would never encourage people who hate kids to have kids or spend time with them. If someone hates kids that’s how it’s going to be, natural or not, that’s how postpartum depression starts and children are abused, I don’t think people should force themselves to like kids for the sake of being feminine.
    “Man men up”, really?

  13. Mariam says:

    How do you pour oil and gas and fill up the tires in your car in a feminine way? I’m serious and curious, when you have to do “masculine” things for yourself.

  14. Mimi says:

    I must make a comment on the whole “maternal” thing.
    If you don’t desire kids, you shouldn’t have them period, however, you can help boost your maternal side by learning to posses the traits of the mother—-warmth, gentleness,security, grace, peaceful, etc.

    You don’t HAVEto be a biological mother to have these qualities.

  15. Pingback: Tips for Feeling Pretty in January - Adornabelle

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